So today I went to Target (when don’t I go to Target) and had to exchange some bath towels for my master bathroom color scheme and while I was there, I couldn’t help but notice this handsome, blonde-haired, big, blue-eyed tyke sitting in the basket in front of me. While his mom was exchanging a mass amount of items and also arguing with the store clerk as to why she didn’t have the correct receipt, I played peek-a-boo with him.

And as I covered my eyes and then uncovered them again, the little cutie would bust out with this cute little squeal and smile that made my heart literally melt. When “mom” finally turned around, she smiled and said, “Cooper’s such a charmer, he loves older women.”

I laughed. And I kept laughing after I left Target. Cooper wasn’t the only one who loved older women.

So the other night when I was checking my Yahoo! Mail, I received a message from a guy off of OKCupid. I haven’t spent too much time lately checking up on my dating sites since a certain someone has been occupying my time. And let me just say that I am loving it like a McDonalds Big Mac! Anyways…

🙂

So this guy emails me this long exhausting paragraph about how he thinks I’m a really cool person per my profile and that he thinks I’m attractive and loves my smile. My “…extremely cute smile” might I add. Then he goes on to say that he’s Turkish and tells me what he likes to do. And then he busts out with the whole “my age may seem sort of young … but I’d love to get to know you” sentence.

Uh. “My age may seem sort of young?” Red flag.

I immediately think age 20-22 and click on his profile just to check it out.

Uh. Oh. My. God. Boy is only 18.

While I sat there looking through this his profile…I felt like a minor-league pedophile. I mean seriously. How would he expect me to introduce him to my friends? Second, I can’t even take him into a bar with me, let alone a liquor store. And if I were 18 right now…he’d be 8. Uh gross. There should be a law against people in their 20’s being able to date (/etc) people in their teens. It’s just awkward and weird all in one mix.

But when I dropped down to the part of his profile that talks about his age and liking older women…I realized why he did.

Per his profile: “I am not a normal 18 year old. My experiences. I have been through a lot in my life. My father passing away. Working since 12 to support my family. Having to be there for my family emotionally and financially. My mom never re-married. So I see the world from a different perspective compared to other people my age.”

I get it. Experiences DO change you. They age you. I can’t say that I’ve lived a super hard life or anything, but I’ve had a ton of experiences that definitely aged me and left me in a different mind-set. Plus, I’m an only child. When I was younger I was hanging out with my parent’s friends and if you think about it, I am currently 28-years-old and both of my parents are 66. Which means…they have friends of all ages, so one day at the age of 12, I could have been around people who were in elderly stage (in their 70s)…or people who were in their 40s. I guess that’s why I have so many friends of different age groups. Maybe it’s because I can relate. I don’t know…

Anyways…being the sweetheart that I am, I kindly wrote the poor guy a message stating that while I was very flattered, I would not be able to date him, as he was too young, and wished him luck on his endeavors of finding the one.

wait for it…wait for it…

A day later, the kid writes back.

He goes on to tell me that he’s actually a little bit older by a few days and that his birthday is this Sunday. WooPee! He’ll be 19. And that he wants to know what I’m doing this weekend and suggests I should let him take me out. 

Long Pause.

Really?

Long Pause.

So the question has to be asked. What is the cut-off age? How young or old does someone have to be before you date them?

Aaliyah (rest in peace) sang Age Ain’t Nothin’ But a Number…but my name is not Stella and I’ve still got my groove and I am not looking to date a kid right out of high school either.

A year ago, I vowed I’d never date a younger guy [than myself] after my then 25-year-old ex-a-hole-boyfriend broke me. But my a-hole ex doesn’t even come close or compare to how great Mr. Nice Guy is and he’s 26. So maybe finding someone doesn’t have to do with age??? Maybe age doesn’t even fall into the category of compatibility (which is what I believe you have to have in order to make a relationship work). Maybe age has a rule of its own. Or maybe when you get older, dating someone super young, doesn’t matter anymore? Should I tell him to wait around until I’m 35? Does anyone have any thought on this?

When I was in college and liquor-legal, I dated a guy who was 36. I know. I know. Here I am complaining about some 18-year-old boy wanting to date me and yet I dated a guy 15 years my senior. At least it was only one date! We met at a house party in Houston and a friend had introduced us. He couldn’t stop talking about how mature he thought I was, yet so young. I had already set all of these goals for myself and accomplished so much and was sticking my nose in everything to get where I needed to be. Maybe that’s what interested him. Who knows. Anyways, he asked me out to dinner and I accepted and we went out a few days later.

At the time I went out with him…I don’t recall thinking about his age, but about what we had in common. I like jazz and blues, he did too. I like books and he and I shared some of the same favorite authors. He enjoyed writing which was what I wanted to do and he was a free spirit. Something that I am and something that a lot of people can’t wrap their heads around. But when we were at dinner, it wasn’t the cool guy who I had met at the party, it was some old guy who kept belittling me for being so young. I felt the way I was treated when I graduated college and started looking for jobs. At the age of 22 and starting to interview, I had a lot of execs tell me they felt I was too young, but were impressed with my experience. Really? Why even ask me on the interview? Why did the guy even ask me out on a date? Did he think I would magically turn 30?

While I’ve obviously loosened up my age requirements on my dating searches, the age range I still prefer is 25-35. Am I going to turn someone down who is compatible and 38. Probably not? I’m still holding out for Jason Statham and he’s in his 40s. ;o) Am I going to turn someone down who is compatible and age 24? Probably not. But I just can’t imagine dating someone who is 18 — even if he did graduate high school early and is already almost done with his Bachelors and trying to get a Masters before age 21. I just don’t see it happening.

But I laugh. I’m literally laughing. Right. Now.

Why? Because it’s taken me about oh a half day yesterday and 40 minutes to write this blog today and old kiddo just wrote me again. He is still interested and just stated that he can compete with any guy my age and that I should sleep on it and think about giving him a chance.

Hmmm…maybe this guy should go into the psycho/stalker/clingy catergory. Maybe that’ll be my next blog.

Ha! 🙂

8 thoughts on “age ain’t nothin’ but a number…yeah right!

  1. Ok, so this is the first time I’ve checked out your blog, and it’s pretty cool! But as far as Turkish guys, or any foreign guy for that matter, they want a Visa to the USA, lol! Not saying that your not gorgeous and all, but it happens. Having been to Turkey (and loving it, despite the fact that I was proposed to after talking to a local for 5 minutes), I feel I can say this with alot of assurance.

    As far as too young. I’m old fashioned. I want some one who is at least my age, I think I may be able to deal with 6 months younger, maybe even 9, but not 1 year. And too old, 5-7 years older, depending on the personality. hope that answers your question!

  2. well he doesn’t need a Visa. He was apparently born here, brought up there, moved back here.

    I should totally make foreigners a separate entry. That’s a fun one. ;o)

  3. I have got to stop myself from rolling ALL the way in the floor….I mean, I’m at work for goodness sakes!!! Girl, you did the right thing…there’s no need to question your decision. He’s a baby…and no matter now mature he may be for his age, there will still be things that he’s lacking in life experience (in comparison to you). Plus, this is damn-near molester status! Tell him that you are a GROWN woman and that, although you are quite flatterred, he’s going to have to keep it moving…and so are you! In terms of dating people that are few years outside of your regular age range…well, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that as long as you guys are compatible. But, hear me, children and teens are NOT ALLOWED. 😉

  4. Tae…I will just send him your response. Hopefully he’ll get the message. HA! Glad you liked this one…now I have all sort of things to write about. Foreigners, Clingyness, Pyschos, Stalkers and wait for it…Doogle Eyes. ;o)

  5. Wow. Where to begin? Me? 36, almost 37. My love? Just celebrated 28. Me? White bread. My love? Cuban hotness. Did I seek out someone with these differences? No. Would I change a thing? Absolutely not. Open your heart AND your mind to make sure you aren’t missing out. I’m not saying Turkish jail bait is the man of your dreams, but to hear other commenters indicate that this man’s country of origin or age are the reasons you should not be interested is simply ignorant and closed-minded. Love hits when you least expect it…..best of luck! 🙂

  6. Anyone with “teen” in their age is definitely too young! Maybe if he was twenty-plus it would be one thing, but not before he crosses the line into a “y” in his age. Just think about all the life experiences you have between 18 and 21 that make you a different person! I don’t know that the age gap matters after you’re over a certain age; however, there is definitely a “too young” line that was crossed here!

  7. : ) I don’t know anymore about these standards.
    Heck, I think in my next relationship, I’ll be glad to have a younger man who worships the ground I walk on, and respects every ‘wise’ decision I make.
    Demi might just have the right idea. Add in a sexy foreign accent…..

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