Interviewing people…getting to know people isn’t the hardest part of dating. In fact, it’s probably the easiest.
It’s getting over someone you thought you really connected with. It’s getting over the person you liked a lot, a lot.
That’s the hard part.
I still miss Mr. Big Hair. And I am NOT over him.
I’ve been talking to a lot of friends about dating lately, and it’s a common misconception: that finding someone is the hardest part.
Yeah…it’s difficult and can be entirely frustrating at times; but having to force yourself to get over someone because you’re mature enough to know it’s time to move on, is the worst.
It’s been a little over two weeks since things between Mr. Big Hair and I came to a screeching halt. It’s stupid…but I was just telling someone today that “…it would probably help ‘my closure’…if I knew he was at least thinking about me during this time.” Why, I don’t know. But, I said that if he was really interested in me when we were together, I wouldn’t have known it…because he didn’t talk about his feelings. But then she reminded me of something really important: “expressing your feelings and having feelings are two different things.”
True. Very true.
Jesus. I don’t think I’m cut out for online dating anymore.
Out of the three apps I’m on (they all offer different ways of communicating). I like OKCupid the best, but there’s just not a lot of attraction with the app for people in Texas. I say that because I’ve never seen any of the guys from Bumble or Tinder on there. In fact, there’s not a huge selection of Texas guys at all. Apparently no one wants to “get to know someone” anymore…it’s “who can I swipe next on” based on someone’s pictures.
Everyone who knows me, knows I’m Chatty Kathy. I think if someone were really wanting to find out about me, they’d be able to
look deep into my soul and learn a lot from my OKCupid profile.
In the last couple of days, I’ve exchanged a couple of numbers with guys [from different apps] and I’ve also deleted those numbers just as quickly as I added them.
I started back to online dating, really, to take my mind off of Mr. Big Hair. By doing other, random things, I was essentially filling the void: that was me lusting after an emotion that was not reciprocated. Because that wasn’t healthy…
Although ‘getting back online’ and doing other random things has helped, I’m realizing that I may not be ready to get back on the dating train.
I have found it very hard to communicate and/or have meaningful conversations with these dudes.
I don’t know if it’s because I miss what Big Hair and I had (compatibility conversation-wise), or if social media, truly has ruined how people communicate with each other. I want to say the latter, but I think it’s both.
I’m self-aware enough too, that I know that it’s not fair to these dudes either. That I’m [trying to] put myself out there, when I’m not ready. I’m essentially putting these new guys into the position Mr. Big Hair put me in…and it’s not a nice feeling.
Again, Mr. Big Hair and I met at the wrong time.
My friend told me today “…maybe you’ll get a second chance [with him], years from now.” Yes friend, you are right…and a Hallmark movie that would be.
I posted on my Instagram today, an image that is #SoMe.
I have a bazillion thoughts running through my mind right now. About dating in general, him, work, life, him, more life… I SHOULD NOT be listening to my heart these days.
If this blog post ends up being sent to him, blame it on the alcohol.
It’s also important to have reminders like this one at your disposal too:
He would have fought to make things work. And, he didn’t.