Like omigod, like I’ll call you tonight.

So I was at sonic the other day getting my route 44, happy hour-priced unsweet iced tea and realized I couldn’t find my debit card in the bottom of my grand canyon of a purse. So I took the $5 bill that I had stashed in the console of my car and immediately regretted it the minute I handed it over to this snotty-nosed teenager.

Kids can’t freakin’ count these days. Not only did he fumble around for the change, but he asked me if I could tell him how much I was owed. Should I have said $50?

And it’s not just kids…it’s adults too. I’ve encountered more and more adults who leave me wondering how the hell they graduated college and even high school. Can we all just agree that education has really gone to hell in a handbasket?

And let’s not forget one’s vernacular.

So back in April, I had a date with this guy named Ryan. Ryan is a smart guy. Super intelligent. Even holds a Masters degree. Yet for some reason, the powers of an eccentric high school student overpower him. His occupation? An SAT/ACT tutor. While he occasionally gets to converse with educated students who prepare to take the GRE or the LSATs, he mainly works with high school freshman and seniors.

So we met at Dave and Busters for drinks and games, and if his clammy fingers and sweaty existence didn’t annoy me, it was the conversation. He kept going on about this young girl who didn’t even know what the word modicum meant and how she shouldn’t even think about college. Except that his conversation went more like this: “Like this girl was so stupid. Like she didn’t even know what the word modicum meant. Like omigod (the reason for my blog name), she shouldn’t even be allowed to like take the SAT. I’m sure her scores won’t even like pass.”

I kid you not.

Listening to him literally felt as if I were at a Toastmasters group counting how many times he said “like” and “uh”. It was horrible. You would think with the amount of education he’s received, he’d know and understand how to turn off “valley girl” and turn on “educated and professional” Ryan.

Clearly, the word “like” has now moved from teens to educated adults.

I keep telling myself that I shouldn’t be so picky…but I’ve decided that I wouldn’t be able to deal with a man who can’t write or speak like an actual man instead of a teenager…and therefore I have come to the conclusion, that I WILL NOT settle for man who isn’t at least on my level.

Like Omigod!

By the way…for all the inquiring minds…the word “modicum” means a small amount. He hasn’t even a modicum of common sense.

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