When I was younger and my mom would take me to the mall to see Santa, I always wanted to see his reindeer. This wasn’t some regular kiddo asking Santa a question, this was a pesky and annoying little girl who would pull and tug on Santa’s beard to see if he was legit.
After seeing brown- and black-haired mustaches peeking through a snowy, white beard and hugging fake, newspaper-filled tummies, it wasn’t hard to believe that Santa wasn’t real. While my parents were always creative enough to make their own soot footprints on our wood floors and eat the cookies and drink the milk, I never did get to see those reindeer. Now that I think about it, I don’t really ever remember “believing” in that fat, old man. Maybe enough to get the presents…but really? How can one man get to all of those houses in just one night? And why as a kid, did I hear on the news about some family who didn’t have presents under their tree? Did Santa crash into a 747 or something?
I’m a facts girl. I’ve always needed answers to my questions and proof of what has been said. You know…proof that Santa was real. Proof that anything is real.
For instance God.
Those that know me, know that I am not religious at all. In fact, the last time I stepped foot in a church, was probably for a friend’s wedding.
My parents were never very religious. My dad was raised in the Catholic church and my mom in the Baptist church. Both weren’t fans of their religions, and they didn’t want me growing up hating a pre-determined religion, so they waited until I could form my own opinion. And I did. I formed the “I-don’t-really-believe-in-God-and-don’t-think-I-should-have-to-spend-countless-hours-in-a-church-to-be-a-great-person” opinion.
I have nothing against people who are religious…in fact, I’m actually very interested in religions and read up on the different ones as much as I can. There are just questions that I have, that can never be answered; therefore, I am not satisfied and I am stuck in my ways and beliefs.
But this blog isn’t supposed to be about what I feel about religion (although if you have questions, please just ask. it’s that simple). This blog is supposed to be about opposites attracting one another and compatibility.
Practically all of my dating profiles have that I’m a liberal and non-religious. Why in the hell do people feel the need to criticize me and my beliefs?
Back in early 2009, I think March sometime, I was on Match.com and this guy winked at me and then sent me an email stating that he loved my profile and thought we’d get along really well since we had similar interests. I typically stay away from the “I-thank-God-for-everything-he-has-given-to-me” types, as I believe this is probably the understatement of the year. Well for me it is.
In my mind, I think “so I should thank God for my last company laying me off and my health for suddenly sneaking up on me and making me so sick that the doctors are puzzled by my condition?” Uh…
Well anyways…this dude had Republican written all over his face (read: there is nothing wrong with you if you’re a republican, I just wouldn’t be able to date you). Plus he was an avid church-goer and per his profile, preferred someone who had a strong relationship with God and someone that would accompany him to church on a weekly basis. LOL…totally not me.
I might have gone all of once or twice, but every week? You’ve got to be kidding me! And you voted for Bush? Like Omigod!
Anyways…this guy was a very aggressive guy. Not in a violent way, but in a fiesty, yet assertive way (kind of like myself), and kept asking me for weeks to go out with him. Even though I had already told him, we probably wouldn’t match up, he insisted that our interests matched up too well.
By April, I agreed to go out with him, only if he wouldn’t talk about politics or religion with me. He questioned it, but said “okay.”
Personally, I don’t think religion or political views are a first-date topic, especially if you’re opposites. I mean, the conversation could just get really crazy.
But we ended up meeting for coffee at Starbucks.
Let me tell you…if you ever want to ask me out on a date, don’t take me to Starbucks. I hate their coffee. They always burn it. Instead, take me to Cafe Brazil, for their ever-so-famous french toast and hundreds of coffee variations. I promise you’ll like it too.
Okay…back to my story.
Anyways, we meet at Starbucks for (in my opinion) burnt coffee and sit on one of those big, plush sofas. The conversation started out great and at this point, I’m thinking to myself, “wow, it might not be so bad.”
So we talked about action movies (which I love) and he’s telling me his favorite movies (which by the way, were some of the most violent and gorriest (some that I would never watch)–which also made me wonder how he can be such a devout Christian, but be okay with violence like that, but that’s another tangent for ComeOnAmerica). And we talked about plays and concerts and books and music. Yes…we had all of that in common which was great. Then all of a sudden, he starts asking about my parents and out of nowhere, asks if I’m liberal only because of my parents. I immediately shot back with “no, I know how to make up my own mind.” And for the next 20 minutes, I went from being fiesty to snappy and then I sort of got pissed.
I mean, I knew this would happen.
Off on a tangent…so I come from a very political background. My mother has run for statewide offices, as well as local and so has my dad. I, myself, have never ran for anything, except for when I tried to become the Editor of my college newspaper, or when I decided I wanted to be a part of the student government association (SGA), or the time I wanted to be the President of the young democratic group at college.
After Dallas brought me to my first job, I got involved political and professional-wise to meet new people. Somewhere along those lines, and among my friends, somehow I became the political aficionado. Anyways…whenever a particular [Republican] friend would get around me (conservative as he is), he’d always want to talk politics. I never could understand why I just couldn’t have a peaceful conversation without him going off on some ridiculous topic, when all I wanted to concentrate on, was the margarita and queso sitting in front of me.
Anyways…my tangent…felt similar to my date with Mr. Republican. He just couldn’t let it go that I was a Democrat and that I didn’t have a meaningful relationship with God. Yeah…he went on a religious tangent too. I think at one point I ended up rolling my eyes.
So I endure the conversation and pounce on every question he sends my way. I wondered if he’d ever just give up, but he didn’t. And then he threw in the curveball. While I’m trying to maintain a peaceful setting with my burnt coffee, he throws out the abortion topic. Mental slap to forehead.
He asked me if I was pro choice and when I said yes, said he didn’t know how anyone could kill babies and that they were people too.
Yeah…the squid that just landed in my vagina is really a person!
Anyways…he talked up this whole scenario about how his church group saved this girl from aborting her baby and helped her out when she rounded out the nine months of pregnancy. While the story was touching, I told him that I hoped that was what she wanted in the end and that I hoped she was happy.
Apparently, the story didn’t bring tears to my eyes or stop me in my tracks and make me want to shout out “I love squid”…so in his attempt to find out more information to see just how far I might go, he asked, “well since you’re being so mum, it sounds like you’ve had a personal experience yourself. have you ever aborted a baby?”
I was mortified.
Dear Mr. Republican Pro-Lifer:
I have never in my life been pregnant, nor have I ever aborted a baby. Not that it is ANY business of yours! However…depending on the situation, I would at least want it as a choice.
Love, the Democratic Pro-Choicer
Note to guys: if you’re planning on asking me out and you’re a Republican/religious, etc…please think about the conversations we’d have, since politics and religion affect so much in our lives.
Don’t get me wrong…I totally believe in opposites attracting. I believe that men and women with different political ideals can be together. I believe that men and women with different religious affiliations can be together. I believe that black and white and brown and olive and even purple people [eaters] can be together. I believe that people of all ages can be together. I even believe in everything your momma warned you about!
I also believe that in some way, you have to be compatible enough in order to make it work. You can’t push your ideals on someone. You can’t expect them to agree with you each and everytime. And…you can’t expect people to change if they don’t want to.
Let’s just all, please remember that.
I love all of my friends who are religious and I love all of my friends who are of different political affiliations. But I appreciate them even more if they’re okay with the way I am. And I appreciate the guy who looks at my profile and doesn’t try to change me or suggest that I go a different route.
Love you all. : )